No respect

***DISCLAIMER - this is MY blog and I'm discussing MY feelings/thoughts. DON'T come on here and leave negative feedback trying to bash me. You don't like what you're reading, hit the 'x' and keep it moving. I'm not racist either, I love and accept everyone for who they are.***

This is a small add on to what I was mentioning in my previous post, about being treated differently in certain neighborhoods. People are always testing me and trying my patience. Most of you who know me, know my attitude is the worst - and that's on a good day. Usually I don't have one unless you start with me first. I try to mind my own business. I was on the train last night and it's crowded, rush hour, and this chic kicks and steps on me. I look up to see if she would say excuse me or apologize, I didn't have headphones on and neither did she. Nope. All she did was stare me down like I was wrong and posed up on the pole. Fine I'm gonna let it go, people are ignorant, whatever. I rolled my eyes and counted down to calm myself. Let her stare me down if she wants to, I didn't do anything to her! But a group of loud chicks come on the train invading her space and she just sits there quiet with her face screwed up, looking the other way. I'm getting off the train and walking up the stairs, and the same chic comes and rushes behind me, knocking into me hard with her bag. Again I look at her to see if she would say anything. Nope just stares me down, grilling me - almost like she wants me to say something. I just rolled my eyes and shook my head. "She's not worth it" I tell myself and keep it moving. I still see her out the corner if my eye walking behind me, but I just walk up and go about my business.

Now I said all if this without mentioning race. Can you tell me what race this individual was? It really only happens with one racial group anyway. Also, usually only with kids or people around my age group. I mean I'm 25, but depending on how I dress, I can look younger. But still most of the time you can tell I'm not in high school. Yet this type of thing happens to me all the time. I'm almost positive that if I looked more Jamaican or Trini that it wouldn't happen as often. People in certain neighborhoods more often than not will try to mess with me and it's like c'mon, why are you even doing it anyway? What do you have to prove? Even when I go to Jamaican restaurants, I make the Mr order for me because they won't even pay attention to me when I walk in. We both look Hispanic, but he has the accent that suddenly changes how they act. But me, with no accent at all, I barely get to put in my order.

Now even though Golden Krust is not a real Jamaican restaurant to most people, they still have Jamaicans working there. I go in from time to time when I'm in a pinch for food, and I'm always getting played. It was about 2 Saturdays ago (when I went to donate blood) and I walked into Golden Krust to get some porridge before I got in the train. I'm there and it's fairly empty, 1 person in front of me, few people sitting. I get to the counter and the lady had walked away to talk to someone working in the back. I'm standing there for a few minutes before she walks up to ask me what I want to order, when this guy walks up behind me and starts talking to her over me. They're speaking with the Jamaican accent over me like I'm not even there. I copped a 'tude with her and she mumbled something under her breath and rushed me out. Most of the times I notice the level of service I get compared to "fellow Jamaicans." I'm often given lackluster service, not even a hello/good morning etc even when I greet them nicely. But let someone walk in with an accent and their whole demeanor changes. I'm really about to just boycott Golden Krust though. The food is not even worth it.

I'm saying all of this here, because it's my blog and personal space to do so and I can be more open about it. When I write about them on FB though, people have issues. And yes I don't write my statuses in the most PC way, but it's what I see. I'm not writing "Fuck these n*****s I don't like them." That would be some racist shit. I write about dumb things I see on the bus/train that make me upset because they're portraying stereotypes that are on tv/movies/media. Or doing something that everyone else is looking at them for because they know its so wrong and they're embarrassed by it. But I'm always wrong for saying anything about it or even ringing it up because I'm not black or black enough to people. I'm called racist and told that I don't like black people. But it's ok for you to say it because you have the complexion to back it? I've see it on my social media sites plenty of times. I say one thing and I'm put down for saying it and people are offended, but then someone else will say the same thing I said and it's ok because they have more color on them. I have learned to stop putting things out there on social media, I'm not a compete twit. I get it. People will always have something to say. There's so much I can say about this particular topic, but I won't. I'm ending it here.

Remember my disclaimer before you say anything in the comment box. I approve them before they're posted.

- L